I’d been actively doing transformative work on myself for a while, day in, day out. I was proud of my persistence, faithfully putting in my time at the inner gym. And, I was slowly growing more and more impatient, not just for clockable results, but even for opportunities to test out whether I’d made improvements. I couldn’t see where this was all going. Worse, I didn’t even have a clear idea what my desired outcome was.
I met with Devin, whom I didn’t know, and felt safe rambling on and on about it all. I spilled out more than I meant to, complaining, complaining, then complaining about complaining. Then I’d stop. And Devin would offer one simple statement, or brief question, that would upend my whole train of thought. That, on its own, was a big relief. I’d been running these scripts like a hamster on a wheel for a looooong time. I don’t know how Devin was able to just gently put a finger on the wheel to stop it spinning. But when it happened, I was really surprised about how much I could see about my situation that I couldn’t before. It was like lifting up the hood of a car, or opening the back of a computer, to see what’s making it run. I clearly saw, for the first time, some basic assumptions which I hadn’t voiced to myself consciously, but which had been acting as my personal operating system for years, if not always. And suddenly I wondered whether they were true. And whether I could maybe try to run my personal program from a different set of assumptions.
It was a lot. And it was scary. And exhilarating. We talked through how it was all those things. Devin shared a few of his own experiences and made a few suggestions – some I latched right onto, and some I can’t even remember now. And then it was over. And now, over 2 hours later, I’m still marveling at what’s come over me. There has been a tangible shift in my energetic field. Note: I am NOT someone who takes much notice of his “energetic field” or what it’s doing. It’s just not a regular frame of reference for me. But I’m hyper-aware of it right now, and without knowing why I know this, I can tell things have moved around from wherever it was they were. It feels like I’ve pressed a big “reset” button. Or made some kind of leap that’s landed me further than usual from where I was standing. I can’t wait to see how it all shakes out. And I’m so grateful to Devin, for holding space, for listening, and setting off a chain reaction that feels like an opening to new possibilities I wasn’t aware of before. Some things are clearer; others are still unclear, and I’m at peace with that. Someday I expect to look back on our session and say, “That was a real turning point… and I still don’t know how he did it.”