This life is…
I am getting rocked in every direction,
As a tumbling river stone,
A crashing boulder,
And a crying baby.
The past four months have been one of the biggest challenges of my life, and a grand initiation into the rest of my existence.
The moment I think I know what’s going on or what I want to do or even who I am — another shift, and transformation.
I am dying to my new self, who I’ve never even met.
All I can do is let go and have faith that the next evolution of my psyche is a movement toward God.
I feel supported by the time and space around me, by the people within, by the ever flowing energy passing through me.
And simultaneously I feel alone amidst this Vast Place.
And hopeless, sometimes…
As if I could ever make the wrong choice!
As if I could ever be truly mistaken about what this life is, or how to live it!
How naive! How ignorant! How very, very…
Yes. Here I am, human, in the flesh.
I admit it. I love it. I love everything about it.
I love the pleasure, and the denial of it to my own self.
I love the pain, and I love dancing to avoid it.
I love laughing and crying and laughing so hard I cry.
I love being alone and longing for deep connection.
I love being in a tender partnership and all of the joys and sorrows that brings.
I love the easy bits,
And the hard.
I love it all.
And, you know what?…
I am ready for more.
I am ready to have even more of all these things that I love.
I AM READY!
So, God, please…
Grant me more.
I can take it.
I know. It’s all mine anyway.
So let me have it!
I know what to do with it.
I’ll just keep on changing, and sharing.
That’s what it’s all about.